The Expiry Date


Cover_Seal-1165 (1)I used to underestimate just how hard it is for women to carry on with their lives without the societal pressure to get married and start a family. Just this weekend, I’ve been asked about five times when I am getting married. As irritating as this is, considering I just graduated and in my early twenties, I have decided to let it slide because lucky for me, my immediate family understands my aspirations. This had me thinking, at what age do women get to ‘expire’? At what age are we expected to have it all?

It is such a sad state of affairs considering the average millennial woman has career goals, aspirations and dreams that might or might not be attached to a man or marriage for that matter. Getting hitched should not be perceived as a prestigious societal position, leaving women who do not want to engage in the love shenanigans to be viewed as inferior beings, worse still those who do not want kids are, simply put, weird. We whisper about them in hushed tones during family gatherings and tell our children not to grow up to be like aunt so and so. Cover_Seal-1154


Women, in all aspects of life, have been psychologically bullied into accepting the communal norms and no room is left for them to explore and become whoever they want to be. I read somewhere that the worst thing to call a girl is a girl, we are viewed as such weak beings that our only purpose on earth is to literary facilitate reproduction and die. We are not allowed to be on the same level as men, and any woman who dares to be different  is automatically shunned.

Why should we tie our happiness to a man? So much that we are willing to be abused over and over again just to retain our positions as wives. Just to be clear, love is a beautiful thing, it is an amazing thing but I stand for women having just the same liberal choices as men. When a man is promiscuous, he is THE MAN, when a woman seeks the same sexual adventure becomes the classic whore tale.

Cover_Seal-1157Being an African woman to be precise, I have an expiry date, we all do. By age 25 we are expected to have brought a man home, by 27 everyone’s wondering where are the kids and being unmarried never settles well with our society. While men appreciate with age, women apparently don’t. So apart from worrying about our expiring eggs, we also have to be worried about all the concerned relatives who call every birthday to remind us we’re not getting any younger. There’s so much negativity and critique around women who do not conform to what everyone thinks is right. Well, as I am closing in on my expiry date, I just hope I do not go nuts dragging my boyfriend to the alter.

When’s your expiry date?




16 thoughts on “The Expiry Date

  1. A piece i can relate to. The number of times i have been asked that question just this year is crazy… Good stuff anita. ?

  2. Amazing read….. I do hope that as time goes by we will learn to work with the timings that make us happy and not necessarily what the society makes us to believe.

  3. The pressure is so real!! I’ve had several people ask when I’m getting married because I’ll expire… literally that word!! I guess it’s hard for people to understand everyone has their own timelines

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