Friend or Foe.

“Make new friends, but keep the old; those are silver, these are gold.”

Joseph Parry.

So how’s your new years’ resolutions going? It’s the 22^nd day of 2018, and I am ecstatic! For simply being alive. January is almost over, I survived. I am in what I believe is an almost perfect state of mind, and I am embracing emotional freedom and all the perks that come with being a millennial. I am a beautiful black woman with no apologies. Happy 2018!

I get complaints all the time, and I have made complaints of my own about failing friendships and relationships that are very frustrating. More often than not, we tend to shift blame to the other party, but have you thought for a moment you could be the problem? The moment we do this, we create an imbalance, thus unconsciously giving away our powers and sense of responsibility. True friends are gems, fake friends are ticking bombs that can explode anytime. Find people on the same energy frequency as you, people who are easy to love.

I have lost many friends for being selfish, for having crazy expectations and all that, but what is life without friendships? Who do you call when you get a promotion? Scratch that, who do you seal business deals with? Who knows you too well to see the tears behind your smiles? Who pushes you to make the right decisions, to spread your wings and fly? Who supports you through thick and thin? Who wipes away your tears and threatens whoever dares cross your line? Who remembers to love you, when you completely fall out of love with yourself? That’s a friend that no ego or pride should ever separate. Count yourself lucky if you have even one of such persons.

I know everyone has a story of how a friend turned into a foe, it is human nature that we take steps back and point an accusing finger. It is a common saying that ‘women are their own enemies’ and I, with all my feminism enchantment I do believe this. I am not pretty sure if it is our hormonal outrages of basically genetic make-up, but I have had issues maintaining friendships with fellow women because of this (typical me shifting blame)! But still, we are phenomenal beings!

For any friendship to work or any relationship for that matter, there has to be some form of compromise from either side. Don’t get into your feelings too much to ignore when your fellow needs you. If there’s one thing 2017 taught me is that sometimes we love our friends for the wrong reasons entirely. Do not love your friends only when it is right for you, love them for whom they are because when it’s all said and done, friends are family we get to choose. At some point we all need someone to lean on, to see us through our worst and still think the best of us. Not only find such people but be such a person as well.

One last thing, know the difference between friends and acquaintances, it will save you lots of heartaches! Cheers to the friends we are, those we’ll meet and those we’ll keep forever!