Life has a funny way of making things roll out. I turned a year older a month ago and if there’s one thing I have learned more than anything is that I am in control – of my emotions, my happiness and my destiny; basically, anything that has to do with me. I came to the understanding that whatever another person perceives of me is just but a fragment of their projection of me. If you were not chosen for a job maybe you were too good, you can either go home and cry about it or simply take in the advice and improve your CV or something. If a lady doesn’t fancy you, it’s her problem not yours, no suicidal thoughts there. If a friend doesn’t invite you to a party, you can either take it as he or she forgot and be happy or take the entire evening feeling sad and left out. You can literally wake up and decide to be happy and actually smile the entire day! You do not need permission to be yourself, you do not need another person to be happy, be happy with yourself and only then can you project joy to others. Even the Bible clearly states, ‘Love your neighbor as you love thy self’ therefore no self love means no love at all!
The moment we understand the power we have over ourselves, we attain the insane potential of self-awareness. Life is literally 5% what happens to you and 95% how you react to it. I was one of those people who would blame every tiny thing on my difficult upbringing and misfortunes, but the moment I realized that those are in the past, I started working on my future. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for becoming the very best version of you. Take time to take care of yourself because honey, there could only be one you. You only get to live with yourself forever, the only person who will be there for you 100% is you. Learn to smother yourself with the love you freely give to others. Understand that you are not for everybody and not everyone is for you. While one human thinks you are the absolute angel, another can’t stand your very existence. Your dreams are very personal, find what defines you and act on it passionately. Be dope; be un-apologetically you!
The other milestone to fully embracing yourself and becoming fully self-aware is recognizing your limits. For example, you know that you become slutty Suzzie after the 5th drink so stop at 4. Understand your weaknesses and embrace your strengths. You know salsa makes you happy, turn up the volume; you probably aren’t that good in math, take an art course instead. I mean there are many ways to kill a rat as long as the damn thing is dead. I know this is one roller-coaster but learn to say No. This has been a tough one for me, those closest to me know how much I value my space, so much so that you have to be super duper special for me to pick your calls after 10, and no random visitors, please. This works for me because I love peace and quiet and it is a significant part of what I do. I respect when a friend says they need a time out. The basis for this is to always know what works for you and remember it is not about how another person thinks of you but rather how you value yourself. It might sound selfish but yes, YOU should come first.
Self-love breeds self-confidence which then boosts self-efficacy and awareness. I am not preaching narcissism and over the top egoistic tendencies but I am rooting for the basic human instinct of administering self-care. Even if things might not be going too well on your end, stick a pen between your lips and make yourself smile. Or tickle yourself, just anything to make yourself happy. Stop depending on others to make you happy, no one owes you that. Happiness is an inside job, and it takes just about 21 days to form a habit. So, whatever it takes to keep your boat afloat do it; after all, we only got one life!