“I just want to be perfect.”
“And what happens when you’ve achieved perfection? Do you stop then? It’s our imperfections that keep us alive, motivating us to push further and further..?”
– Kramrovsky High Strung Movie, 2016.
More often than not, I have damned myself for not turning out how I wanted to be or what I had imagined life would be at this point in my life. I wanted, yearned and so much worked to attain perfection. But again, what is perfection? Is it humanly possible to be free of faults? Or do we just assume that once we get something or do something in a particular manner, then that’s it – perfection! We all have the perfect timeline to get things done; go to school, graduate in the early twenties, get a job – the kind that has benefits worth dying for, get an automobile that stands out from our peers, get a home, find love and discover the warmth of family. Unfortunately, this is not what everyone wants and for those who for instance, decide to jump the broom at 18 then go forward with the rest of their ambitions they are considered misfits. Perfection is like an unending fire, that consumes everything on it’s way, and the more it consumes the more it yearns.
There’s never a perfect time for anything really; perfection is a continuous cycle of constructing our beings and circumstances to what best suits us. There really isn’t a perfect time to fall in love, a perfect time to start a business or apply for a job or start a family. And what really is perfection anyway? What’s the standard? The illusion of perfection has cost us so much because we tend to believe something or someone has to be perfect for us to desire it, or associate with them. And the more we seek this external source of gratification, the more we seem to reflect our very own imperfections. My biggest fail has been waiting for the perfect time to write, or go out or do something beautiful for myself and that has never worked. Things pile up every day, new responsibilities, new routines, and I just realized the world wouldn’t be perfect until I make time for me. I decide what works for me. I’m not a conventional twenty-something millennial woman, I am me, and sometimes I give away so much of me and have none of me left for me. Priorities are what makes my life in sync, and sometimes I seek validation everywhere else apart from myself.
You know you best; your weaknesses, your strengths, your limits. Understanding that perfection is just an illusion and what really matters is here and now. I mean that’s why we have makeup and Photoshop! What do we live for? Things can be perfect, like a car, a house, a painting, you know, things, stuff, but these things once in a while disappoint us. But is perfection the ultimate source of happiness? Instead of pursuing perfection, we ought to pursue more meaningful things such as amazing friendships, quality family time, fantastic health. Does perfection equate to happiness? Once we achieve perfection, what’s left of us? Kick ass, be intentional!